Well, gol friggin' danged!

I step out on the porch to burn a little evidence and look what happens? Well, I'll teel ya what happens! Someone done moved my "Stairmaster Protech Exerciser 100XL" outta da danged Ovatine Office and moved it down da danged street to the Naval Observatory!

I mean, like, I thought this was a democracy? Don't answer that 'cause it was 'spose to be one of them rethorical questions.

But look, Dianavan, I ain't too sure 'bout what happened but, hey, the Ovaltine Office is my gym so bug off. You wanta go down an' check out the digs at the observatorym knock yer observin' self out!

Now as fir this 10 point platform taht you tried to sneak in on me while I was tied up out on the porch, ahhh, firgit most of that crap 'cause here's the real deal:

1. We're gonna turn the banks over to the poor people to run and the education system over to the rich folks to run.

2. We're gonna decriminalize all "victimless crimes" (drugs, prostitiution, ect.)

3. We're gonna set up a Departmant of Peace which will get as much $$$ as the Defense Department.

4. We're gonna have a "Guarenteed National Income" for every American. (Wanta make even more? Work.)

5. We're gonna have universal one-peyer health care for every citizen.

6. We're gonna prosecute corporate crooks and make them work in community serive programs such as drug rehab., womens abuse centers, ect.

7. We're gonna sign on with the World Court.

8. We're gonna sign on as being a partner in reducing our emissions while moving toward renewable energies and away from "consumption" as our centerpiece of our energy policy.

9. We're gonna establish private/public partnerships in our prisons so that those who are incarcerated will come out *with a job*, having been trained AND employed by a private firm while incarcerated.

10. We're going change the way out democracy works. Yeah, we'll keep the Electorial College BUT the Electors will be prorated. We will also require Congress to assign a prorated number of Minority Party members to positons of of Committeee Chair....

And that is just a start...

And, when it comes to presidin', you folks don't gotta look no furhter than this ol' hillbilly. I might not fill out the back of my jeans like Mel Gibson but, boney butted or not, I'm da man...

President Bobert