I can handle your scheduling, meetings, appointments, reception, etc. But, for financial/legal reasons, I'll have to take the job under my professional nom-de-plume, Mr. Ellipsis-Interrogative. I can see to it you'll never have to talk to anybody ever.

"And you are...?"

"And your affiliation is...?"

"And this is concerning...?"

"And she should be interested because...?"

"And she would know you from...?"

"And you wouldn't bore her to tears because...?"

"And you're going to make it worth MY while by...?"


I can keep it up indefinitely.

(But that's a qualification for another job I'm applying for, and under a different pseudonym)