Howdy ... Bob Nelson, here again, with more time. I've been constantly thinking about the various issues that this thread raised. I want to make a major SHIFT in the focus.

I'll warn you right now, this shift will not be pleasant. This shift could well be very uncomfortable for you, but it's still a shift that I feel needs to be made, based on my personal experiences.

Some background: Both of my parents died in 2002, Mother was 88 and Father was 94. Throughout all their lives, I was very involved in their lives, by choice. I have one brother who was not, with damned good reason.

During the last dozen years of their lives, they (we) sold their home and moved in and out of various 'retiremnt homes.' As they grew older, and more feeble, their daily care needs increased. For the last eight years, they lived in a WONDERFUL retirement home four blocks from where I live. This home, bless their souls, is staffed by the most proffesional and wonderful ANGELS that God ever placed on earth. This is not an overstatement. I know whereof I speak.

My Mother died insane, my Father died five months later. Without the care and MEDICAL attention my parents received, no one would have survived, including me.

My whole point is this: As we talk about a possible retirement community of friends/soul mates, singer buddies/ whatever/ we'd better get REAL about what can happen at the end of ones life.

We can all pool our money and have great dinners and hoots in a great housing facility, but what happens after MY physical condition demands that I need more care?

I think this is a very valid question.

Having said all this "bummer" stuff, please understand that I am seriously interested in this issue. And I do hope that you'll all stick with me and let's get the conversation going onto stage two.

CHEERS to you all, Bob(deckman)Nelson