I used to think a lady I knew was wonderfully kind and caring. She did a lot of nice things for people.   She was very active in her church. She supported many good causes.
Then one day she stabbed me in the back. That was when I noticed that she favored one of her children over the other. That her faith was 50% self righteousness. That she moped for hours over trivial things.
I find myself wishing I had noticed all this BEFORE she stuck a figurative knife in my back. Cynicism has it's good points.