Excellent, Barry. Stands on its own as a strong and moving poem, and I think with a tune it would be downright chilling.

I agree, howevr, with what a few others have said, it could use a stronger end verse. Can you write one more?

I think you have enough in the song that it stands alone, without excessive explanation.

Now I'll have to be sure to meet up with you soon; I want to hear this song.

Kim