"Wacky Warning Labels"

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product." That warning is the first place winner of the 2004 Wacky Warning Label Contest. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that the fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors the annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.

Second place: On a snow sled: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

Third place: On a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact discs: "Do not use as a ladder."

Fourth place: A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks advises it is "Harmful if swallowed." Too bad fish can't read!

Previous winners in the "Wacky Warning Label Contest" are presented here for your amusement and amazement:

--A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

--A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."

--A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

--A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

--A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."

--An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."

--A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."