Hi. I don't know much about epilepsy, but I don't know why you or your wife should feel ashamed. Anybody can get it, and from what I understand, it can be controlled through medication.
In my youth, I used to go out with a girl, and it was only later after we had broken up, that she told me that she suffered with epilepsy. I woudn't have known. She had some form of medication that controlled it.
Phsychiatric help surely doesn't come into it. Surely it is more about finding people who can help in a positive way. I have an autistic daughter, and I suppose you could say that she was nuts. In actual fact she is lovely, and in the UK there is so much help around.
Maybe you should move to the UK.
Anyway have a lok at this website, I am sure you will find it very informative.