CATSPAW: " Truth is it was a ONE-LEGGED CHICKEN that had to HOP across the road in full flight from CLETUS,PAW and THE THREE REGS, who had built up a Hell of an appetite after a solid 4 hours of drinking Everclear and watching X-Rated henflicks- The Chicken was invited to LUNCH, where it was shocked to be confronted by Paw brandishing a Cleaver and the Reg's stomping out a shit-load of mashed potatoes in the sink - A HUGE FRACAS ensued, after which the Chicken fled (although Cletus claimed it went off half-cocked, what with the other half being breaded, deep-fried and served on a sesame seed bun)...The POSSUM proclaimed his marsupial neutrality, volunteering to testify (or TESTE-fry) to the Chicken having raised the eggspectations of both Reg's, and then refusing to shell out...but the case has been THROWN OUT due to a hung jury- which may have only been a rumor although the Forewoman had a Hell of a pair of KNOCKERS on her..."

WHAT in GOD's NAME am I DOING??!! It's F*CKING 2:45 AM and I still have to clean all the DRIED-UP CHILI some thoughtless bastard..ummm...OK IT WAS ME!...left in the damn MICROWAVE, and I sit here making up GODDAM CHICKEN STORIES!...KEEE-RIST!