My cousin has it (as a result of a horseback riding accident). Whatever the medication is that she is on seems to be controlling her seizures well. On the whole, epilepsy doesn't seem to interfere much with her life--she worked full-time for a publishing company, on her own as a photographer, and now has a two-year-old and a new baby.

I cannot imagine why anyone would think this is shameful--it's definitely NOT a mental illness. My cousin is a perfectly normal, sane, intelligent, productive person in every respect. But, yes, I agree with Jeri--since your wife seems to be having a hard time with it, a support group (in addition to yourself) might be helpful.