Guest, I was so sad to read of what you and your wife are going through following her diagnosis. I want you both to know that epilepsy is most definitely something you can live with and need not hamper your lives. In a community as large as Mudcat, I am sure there will be several members who have, or have had, epileptic seizures, in varying degrees and types.
I had my first fit when I was 11 years old, triggered by sitting very close to a flickering television screen. It was, indeed, a very scary experience, but the hospital handled it well. After an EEG check, it was found that the kind of tendancy to epilepsy I had was one which is triggered by lengthy exposure to fast flickering light, and nothing else. I was put on tablets for about 5 years and had no further fits, until my first night away from home at university, when I was 18, triggered by strobe lights at a disco. I had managed up until then to go to discos and just go outside if I started to feel dizzy if the strobe lights came on. (Try keeping a teenager away from a disco !) But this one was extra fast and kept on extra long (set up by some wizz-kid Physics student) and I collapsed running upstairs to get out. I hadn't judged how long I could stay. Silly me, I had just met a boy and wanted to stay dancing. Not the first or last time I have gone against my better judgement as regards the male of the species ;) This time, I wasn't put on any tablets, and just advised to "keep away from discos". Which I did. Went to the folk club...
I have had no incidents like that since (and I am now 50), but I am careful around certain situations (e.g. faulty neon strip lighting; fast spinning ceiling fans) just in case. I believe it is true for people who have any kind of epilepsy that they have some kind of warning when something is wrong. There is time to stop what you are doing. This can be a very reassuring thought. The tendancy I have is mild and very specific, so what applies to me and the way I live with it will clearly be different from anyone else. But, Guest, I just wanted you and your wife to hear from someone in person on Mudcat. I hope that there may be some others who will also add their thoughts and experiences.
The webpages listed above all look excellent. I do hope you will both find a great deal there to encourage you.
Please get in touch with me by PM, whenever you wish.