Tony Blair: It had to reassess which side of the road it wanted to be on. Those old ideas of being on the other side of the road just aren't possible in today's modern economy.

Any Tory: Because the chicken had to learn to cross the road itself. It's no good carrying the chicken across the road, otherwise it'll just get lazy.

Sinn Fein spokesman: It actually took two chickens. One to cross the road and the other to claim responsibility