I vaguely remember a thing called "5 minute love affair". It was sort of spoken by someone with a deep and mournful voice, and accompanied by a twangy guitar backing.

I don't remember most of the words, but towards the end there were these fragments that I remember -

After she had taken me for all that *****
She left me **** *** ********, and smouldering all alone
*****************************************

and the final punchline -

You think I have no feelings, cos I'm just a cigarette.

Anyone else remember more of this?