If McFat just likes the playing aspect of the banjo rather than the hideous sound, perhaps he ought to think about trying a Banjola like the one that Leadfingers was playing at the Dog-Day afternoon last Sunday. It's got a 5-string banjo neck grafted onto a mandola body. It provide a solution for people who get addicted to the banjo in the same sort of way that the patch does for smokers, and virtually eliminates all harmful banjo emissions.