I heard this years ago, sung by a one-armed blacksmith (no kidding!). I've never quite been able to remember it all, and I've since forgotten most of what little I did know. it starts like this ...

I've just come away from a benefit concert,
'Twould have saved me much pain if I'd never have gone.
With your kind attention I'll tell you the programme,
The names of the turns {...}

Well of course, we got the bills and tickets out upon the strap,
We couldn't pay the printer 'cos we hadn't got a scrap.
[...]

A lady first got up to sing "I'll be all smiles tonight",
The way she started bawling, well, I thought there'd be a fight!
One old collier at the back, he couldn't stand the pain;
He hit her with his clog, and oh,
She never smiled again!

Toi sing the next song of the night, a young man then arose,
He sang "The village blacksmith" till the sparks shot from his nose!

And the rest has faded. Put me out of my misery, please!

Steve