And anyway, surely this whole event is sufficiently tragic to be the source of a ballad.

We've got:-

McDonald
Coming out
The appearance of a BANJO
The Death of an Icon (well he can't be an icon with a banjo)

So howse about lets compose an online, up-to-the-minute traditional ballade.

Maybe to the tune of 'Glencoe' in honour of the only(?) other time that the McDonalds screwed up?