Here it is - it wasn't Harry Boardman, but a singer named Brian Clift. This was on a sampler collection from the British label Broadside Records called "A Feast of British Folk" from the late '70s; I've transcribed it best I can given the accent!The Benefit Concert (from the singing of the late Albert Shaw)
First tune:
Well, I've just come away from a benefit concert
It'd served me much pain if I'd never have gone
It was held at the Manslaughter Arms around the corner
I'm the only one left out of a hundred and one.This concert was held on behalf of Nobby Taylor
He'd just lost his mother, his only support
And for your kind attention I'll tell you the program
Of this little concert, the best of its sort.Second tune:
Well, of course we brought the bills and tickets out upon the strap
We couldn't pay for the posters, cause we hadn't got a scrap
The room that we had rented would hold fifty at the most
But we got a thousand tickets off to satisfy our host!Sixty special constables was ordered on the scene
They kicked all my front teeth out, oh, I wish I'd never'd been
The air was blue with language, it quite took away me breath
And to give the crowd amusement someone kicked a dog to death.The chairman, he should have arrived, 7:30 was the time
But he dain't turn up until the clock was striking nine
He said "Please forgive me, gentlemen, your patience must be worn,
But I couldn't come before because me trousers was in pawn!"And when the doors was opened, they all rushed to get inside
And the bloke what took the tickets, he got trampled on and died
And them who couldn't get a seat, they squatted on the floor
And they ripped the paper off the walls to admit a dozen more.To do the first song of the night, one young fellow rose
He sung "The Village Blacksmith" till the sparks shot from his nose
He said "I haven't got a voice, it went when I was five,
But I'll fight the best bloke present just to keep the game alive."A lady next got up to sing "I'll Be All Smiles Tonight"
And the way they started bawlin', well, I thought there'd be a fight
'Cause one old collier down the back, he couldn't stand the strain,
So he hit her with his clog, and oh! she never smiled again!To do the last song of the night, they called on Ginger Giles,
To sing on this occasion he had walked for forty miles
He said "Good evening, gentlemen, I'll try to please you all"
And he busted off a-singing "Let Me Like a Soldier Fall".The waiter hit him with his tray, and down poor Ginger fell,
And to finish off the evening all the crowd began to yell:"The more we are together, together, together,
The more we are together, the merrier we shall be!"