The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #68124   Message #1143448
Posted By: catspaw49
22-Mar-04 - 09:01 PM
Thread Name: An Open Letter to Rick Fielding
Subject: An Open Letter to Rick Fielding
Dear Rick,

Well Pard, I think you're probably about over the edge (no pun intended) with all the things being said about you in your Obit thread. I know you want to thank everyone and are grateful and all of that but I also know you're probably uncomfortably embarassed. So I figured I might as well write this note to you now to just BS with you awhile about a few things.

I don't know where exactly you are right now and as many times as we talked about this stuff, we're both agnostics who never had a clue. I reckon we could throw this one out to WYSIWYG. Kat knows a lot about this kind of thing, or others might have a better idea but only you know the answer. So for me, I'll just assume that it is somewhere, a big assumption, and that they have internet access, another assumption. Surely though they must have the internet by now. Say, listen, if they do, could you put a hold on an e-mail addy for me? I'd like spawsayskissmyass@afterlife.org before anyone else gets it. Send me your new one when you have a chance. That said, let's get on with it.

First, I hope you don't mind all the stories that we're already dragging up here and there on other threads and I figure a few will collect here as well. There are some things that everyone didn't know and some are likely to share. You can handle it.........Like the fact that you are really a closet detective. Some of us know that, some don't. I couldn't believe when you started telling me things about people you had learned through your Sherlock persona. When we first started having troll and flaming problems on the 'Cat many years ago, you rarely got involved on the threads. Oh, you did get involved often enough and let your opinion be known, but you were too busy having tons of fun figuring out who was who and what was what through analyzing writing styles, time of day, concurrent postings, and about 50 other factors, almost none of which I had considered Geeziz Man, you were like Nero Wolfe going after angles and things totally out of the blue. What was strange though was that you were often right!!! Seriously, you had a career as a Private Eye if you had decided to go that way.

There are several things I'll add later, but since my modem is acting up, let me get to the really important things! Other stuff can wait for Page Two.

What am I supposed to do with these idiot half-brothers of yours? When you sent the Reg Boys to me 5 years ago, I figured it was just for a visit with Paw, Buford, and Cletus, but they hit it off and now I have twice the problem around here. Reg is okay, but Reg can be really stupid at times. And I tell you Reg is really a problem when he hangs with Cletus instead of Reg, Reg, and Paw. Honest to Christ if I catch them playing "Sink the Cheerios" in my downstairs bathroom again, he and Clete will be joining you, wherever ta' hell that is! I talked to Heather today and asked her what I was supposed to do with them and she said, "Don't send them here!" I care way too much about Heather to do that to her anyway. But I gotta' tell ya', I think I got the short and brown end of the stick on this deal............

I have a few things to add later as I said, but let me end Page One of this letter with this.

I've been in a quandry about what to do regarding Lane, Fielding, Patterson, and Swan.....Layabouts-At-Large and For Hire. I contemplated discussing it with the other two founding partners, but I figure they're as lazy as we all have always been so it's better if I just make the decisions here and figure they'll go along because it would take too much energy to do anything else.I think the best overall decision is to keep you on as the important founding partner that you are. Well really, it's that we already have the all that damn stationery and business cards and Corporate Sportswear and it would cost a fortune to change it.

The other thing here is that at LFPS, we have always prided ourselves on how much time we have devoted to doing nothing and being better at doing nothing than anyone else. Now that you're gone, I figure you have a lot more time than ever before to devote to the business AND it seems to me that you now should be even better at doing nothing. Perhaps you have some orientation program or whatever where you are, but as soon as that's over, hey, why not?............ I mean, when you think of it, who has more time with more ability to do nothing than you do now? This could be a major boost to the business so rest assured (again, no pun intended), you are not just a founding partner, but absolutely more integral to the business than ever before!

More later, but for now that's about it. Catch ya' later,

Spaw