In the first place, the emotional side is more important than the sex, but this only applies if you are BOTH looking for a long term relationship. Now, generally, men believe that it is important to get the sex thing out of the way and see what's left after the passion has cooled, because that's what you deal with on a day to day basis. As I said, that woman didn't find out until too late that her new hubby was impotent, and she didn't want to spend the rest of her life watching him drink beer and watch football.
I've had quite a few experiences where the woman I met was attractive to me, but it wasn't on her agenda to have sex, so, we agreed that wouldn't happen, and we became good friends. In most cases we still are. The thing is, you have to deal with that sexual tension one way or another.
No Jacqui, it's not a control thing, it's advocating for what you need just as he is doing when he wants to bed you. If he gets upset because you wont "put out" the hell with him! more than likely all he really wants is your body anyway.
Find a guy who wants a long term relationship, and avoid the ones who are not serious, (unless you also just want to enjoy a bit of horizontal entertainment) more and more women are opting for that these days since women's lib came into the picture.