A tail behind, a trunk in front
Complete the usual elephant.
A tail in front, a trunk behind
Is what you very seldom find.
If you for elephants should hunt
With trunks behind and tails in front,
The hunt would occupy you long --
The force of habit is so strong.

-- A. E. Housman (from memory)

I shoot the Hippopotamus
with bullets made of platinum,
Because if I use leaden ones
his hide is sure to flatten 'em.

-- Hilaire Belloc