Lucky the doc wasn't blind as old grandma in some book I read written by a Florida humourist...she needed to *loosen* up the old mule. Took down grampa's old bugle horn, used in the Civil War, from the shelf, as usual, positioned it in the proper hinderparts orifice of the mule, commenced to pouring what she thought was mineral oil down the pipe. The mule let out one halacious kick, and ran off down the road, bugle horn firmly in place, tooting all the way. Gramdma had accidentally grabbed the turpentine instead!