Over the years I've met a few of these dancers: First there was the male stripper Happy Third, followed by the twins Suzy and Boots Amador. Then came Mort Spruce and Thalia Regent and her daughter Curly Cedar. If we had lived a few blocks over, she could have been a banjo maker, Curly Maple. I don't know who would pay to watch Klunk Everett do anything but play football or beat up Blake Madison. And I have one dog with three names: Ozeki Benkei Kuroyama Everett.

Some of those named by others above would be real draws if the theater had a marquee worker who couldn't spell very well: Tasty Groove and Taffy Yeastport (sorry), and the great lap dancer Joy Holdernest...

--seed