"Polite accordion"?

"Classical bodhran"?

"Harmonic bagpipes"?

William Lutz wrote "Doublespeak: from "revenue enhancement" to "terminal living"" (Harper and Row, 1989). 'Tain't anything new.

Some examples: terminal living = death; aerodynamic personnel decelerator = parachute; memebers of a career-offender cartel = Mafia; previously distinguished car = used car; television with nonmulticolor capability = black & white TV; negative patient care outcome = death; and one of my personnel favorites: energetic disassembly (explosion in a nuclear power plant).

But we use euphemisms all the time: passed over, negative reviews, sexually assaulted, persons of color (whatever happened to the word "people", anyway?), human resources, enhanced anything. Why not died, bad reviews, African-Americans (Japanese-Americans, etc.) (And why bother with it at all? We're all human, aren't we?), people, better anything? Just as I can mictruate, I can also make water or urinate or spend a penny or shake the dew off the lily or go to the bathroom or visit with my old friend John or...insert whatever "vulgarity" you'd like.

I've always disliked "liquidate" and "terminate with extreme prejudice".