Which was as you and I both know Don the real point I think he was trying to make. And you're absolutely right. As a long time foster parent with over 30 kids out there, Karen and I try to give all our kids a big envelope to work in, but push too hard and you're in trouble. In the final analysis, a family is not a domocracy.

Prior to running into a few health problems, I did a training for foster/adoptive parents called, "Staying Cool at Lobster House." Simply put, foster parents do repair work, not the "finish" details. The kids come to us with some really unbelievable baggage, and the idea of trying to remake a human being as you might do with a "Home Grown" child is ludicrous. Lobsters have an Exo-skeleton, and that's kinda' how we look at the kids and our house. No long list of rules, just some easy basics. They're free to ask advice or not and pay the dues if they screw up. I can't rebuild the bones that have been broken over the years, but I can give them an exo-skeleton to make them reasonable members of society (sometimes) and they can do the finish work on that. Everybody knows where the lines are and we are a "popular" home for teens. Quite seriously, several kids were being disruptive where they were so they could come live at our house! Anyway, the one thing that all know is that we are a family and this ain't a democracy. It gets very complicated sometimes around here, but the minor successes make it worthwhile.....I think.

I loved the story of your kids Don.....not watching the show. We worried a lot about Mikey and Tris growing up in this often nuthouse with so many other influences......but they're both doing well. The 17 year old was watching some gore blaster hackem up thing and Mikey, age 6, walked in, watched for about 5 minutes and said, "This REALLY stinks.......Dad, can you get me some more paper to draw on?" Good head.......

Spaw