From Molly Ivins, Texas columnist:

AUSTIN, Texas -- O Karl Rove, Karl Rove, birder thou never wert. If George W. Bush loses the election narrowly in November, put it down to the birders. You read it here first. What was Rove thinking when he allowed William Haynes II to be nominated to the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit?

There are all the usual reasons for rejecting a Bush judicial nominee -- he's only tried one case; no understanding of the Constitution; author of the "enemy combatant doctrine" that allows American citizens to be held in prison without trial, without counsel and without knowing the charges against them. But the fatal faux pas is the feather-blowing tale of Haynes' role as the top Defense Department lawyer in the case of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

DOD wanted to use an island in the Marianas for bombing practice, so Haynes' team of lawyers argued that bombing the bird haven would not break the treaty and that the bombing would actually enhance bird-watching because people "get more enjoyment out of spotting a rare bird than they do spotting a common one." By this logic, we should drive every bird on earth to near-extinction and just think what a thrill we'd get out of ever seeing one. According to The New York Times, "Mr. Haynes says he only supervised the case and was unaware of the bizarre claim." He only supervised the case?

Well! If you have never seen a flock of enraged birders, you don't know what danger is. These people don't just watch pewits and tweety-birds, they're into raptors, too -- falcons, eagles ... they know how to swoop and strike. If we find Rove beaten to a pulp with binoculars, it will be no surprise. How could he ignore the immemorial warning, "Beware the wrath of the birding legions!"

Back to business. There's no way to keep up with the Bush administration's assaults on the environment, they're just endless. Most notable lately was the decision to let mercury pollution, which is extremely toxic, continue. With current technology, we could cut mercury emissions by 90 percent in four years. Instead, the Bushies chose a plan that will reduce it by 50 percent over 14 years, thus saving millions for their big campaign contributors in the power, coal and chemical industries. To make up for it, they warned pregnant women not to eat tuna. But that's not all:

-- The U.S. Forest Service is going to eliminate any reviews of its actions by outside agencies for compliance with clean water, endangered species and historical preservation laws.

-- The Department of Energy is moving to overturn a court decision on standards to clean up the country's most toxic and radioactive waste.

-- The Environmental Protection Agency's inspector general has concluded that senior Bushies at EPA have repeatedly made misleading statements about purported improvements in drinking water quality. (Oh no, not Bushies lying!)

And just for more shucks and grins, see this column of Molly's discussing Clarke and the bombing of Mexico....just kidding!

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