what is skepticaemia? (related to bureaspeak, adminbrain, cafescience, and sauteed mushrooms) is a rare form of brain infection in which the sufferer experiences extreme rigid mood dismorphia (sometimes referred to as skeptirigormorphius).

The mood dismorphia (skepticaemia) is triggered when the skepticaemiac, or skepticaemaniac as they are referred to in some schools, is confronted by a piece of evidence which contradict's the perceiver's dogma or safe world view.

Pathology, symptoms

The pathological response arises when the skepticaemiac is unable to effectively process two disparate and contradictory pieces of information. The right side of the brain ceases communicating with the left side of the brain, and the skepticaemiac displays an increasingly irrational and illogical response, which arises from the left side of the brain.

A true skepticaemiac will initially utter sentences connected with words such as "objective", "rational", "logic", "sequential" or "analysis". This is an attempt of the part of the skepticaemiac to impose order and control, in order to fend off the arising psychological tension experienced by the skepticaemiac.

As the skepticaemiac moves into second stage skepticaemianiacal disfunction, he or she will experience rapid brain activity in the temporal lobe, may become highly focussed on particular external exponents, and can experience some gastric flushing and hyper nerve sensation to the upper pulverisary artery.

The skepticaemiac now utters sentences with more emphasis, using words such as "subjective", "irrational", "illogical", "asparagus" or "disparagus".

In this heightened mode of activity, the skepticaemiac may then experience pauses between the registering of information in the brain and its processing, and moves into the last stage of disfunction, known variously as hyperskepticaemia, cyberskepticaemia, or schizoskepticaemia, depending on the particular classification (see Illingsworth et al).

The skepticaemiac now utters increasingly intense sentences with more emphasis, using the words "science", "scientific",in a number of different ways. The skepticaemiac may experience a form of physiological reaction, related to sciatica, but of the arm, in which the hand forms into a fist, the elbow moves backward and forward and the fist hits the table (this is known as tablethumping in layman's terms).

In the final, cumulative phase, the skepticaemiac now moves into a more lateral phase of expression, in which latent childhood fears (arising from an overactive brain, early childhood memory manipulation or counterfaeriedysphonia) emerge, overwhelming the
skepticaemiac. Words muttered could included phrases such as "fairies", "superstition", "witches", or in extreme cases, "Little Hawk".

Treatment

There are two schools of treatment for the skepticaemiac. The first school, informed by early Freud, late Jung, and Post-Modernism, requires a period of observation counselling followed by group therapy. The skepticaemiac can slowly be exposed to new ideas in a non threatening environment, and learns slowly to "let go" of his rigidly held world views in a safe and supportive invironment.

Where the skepticaemiac proves rigid, where there is a perceived unwillingness to accept change, and further extreme symptoms of lateral temporal lobe skeptidismorphia, a more rigorous form of therapy is advised. This therapy has not been fully tested, but results in Edinburgh have claimed success (Ratched et al). It involves an imposition of discipline, using a number of methods which are still under debate (Lancet, Vol, MXII, ps 131-257). While the hyper disciplinary approach has been received with caution, its main exponent, Nurse Ratched MD (short for MudcaD)has demonstrated that a number of dismorphiac shizoskepticaemiacs responded positively to her techniques.

We await further advice on the treatment of skepticaemiacs, but advise the following:

1. skepticaemiacs can often be found on threads regarding religion, philosophy, mysticism or UFos.

2. While purporting to invade these threads out of a sense of concern, or even with a view towards clarification, the skepticaemiac is actually secretly obsessed about such topics.

3. do not be alarmed, just ensure the skepticaemiac does not achieve their goals which include thread creep, cyber domination or disasparagazia (similar to casting nasturtiums).

4. be kind.


f.underhill
Health and Mind
Volume 23, Chapter 14 Cyber maladies, melodies and meladies.

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