Big News from The Borowitz Report!!

NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK SET IN BUSH WHITE HOUSE

'Wizards of Mass Destruction' Latest Tell-all Memoir

"Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling has climbed aboard the publishing industry's hottest trend, announcing today that her next entry in the Potter series will be set backstage at the Bush White House in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq.

The book, Harry Potter and the Wizards of Mass Destruction, is expected to be the most successful Bush-cabinet tell-all memoir yet, publishing insiders say.

"It's a little like the Richard Clarke book and a little like the Paul O'Neill book, but with that J.K. Rowling magic thrown in," says Annabelle Kaminski of the industry bible Publishers Weekly. "This is going to be the first book about the Bush White House to move a lot of units with teens and tweens."

According to Ms. Kaminski, the new Rowling book picks up Harry's story as he graduates from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and begins his career as a junior member of the Bush cabinet.

But once he arrives at the White House, young Harry discovers that the entire cabinet is under the spell of a mysterious wizard named "Ahmad Chalabi."

"Chalabi has convinced all of the cabinet members that there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and it's up to Harry to remove the spell," says Ms. Kaminski. "Ultimately, Harry fails, so he leaves the cabinet and signs a book deal instead."