The door flies open and the biggest damn Mick you have ever seen strides across the floor and assumes his seat at the bar................What the hell does a fella have to do to get a proper of the vile black stuff around here???...........Huh??? OK, OK, Beebs.....I will take some of the bass out of my voice and ask nicely.......May I have a pint of the focking Guinness, please?.........Waddya mean where have I been? And why does this place stink of WD40? And why are all the women looking at DougR with glistening eyes? I think we used to call that the "come hither" look?...........Damn, go away for a couple of days, and the whole place falls apart.............Huh? Oh, I was at the Great Lakes Irish Music Festival...........saw a bunch of my friends, and drank copious amounts of stout and Jamesons. The seisuns in the hotel afterward were brilliant.........Craobh Rua, a Belfast Trad Band, are wonderful..........Beebs, why is my potato mounted on a plaque on the wall?........shit, I will never live this down...........and the inscription sez "This spud used by the famous exotic dancer, Daisy Orleans, in his show in this pub in 1999"..........What, kid?.........Hell no you shouldn't try it........the women haven't spoken to me since..........Anyone seen THE FAIR ONE?.............Yes, I know we were both gone at the same time, but what the hell does that prove??? Just a coincidence, I assure you. wink, wink, nod, nod.............Set a round up on me, Leej............