There was a scare at the Dounreay Nuclear facility in Scotland some time ago when contaminated metal pipes and other material went missing. The McCalmans sing this version of the event.

Ah'm The Man That Muffed It (Nancy Nicolson)

CHORUS
Ah'm the man that muffed it, ah'm the man that boobed
Ah'm the man that lost the radioactive tubes
So ah'll ask ma process workers to tell me whaur it's gane
For if it took a dander surely it was seen

Wullie the crofter could it be you
No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took two
One has pinned ma gate shut, the other's in the park
Its grand fine glow takes me safely through the dark
(Chorus)
Angie the fisherman tell the truth tae me
No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took three
One is on my nets, it makes a damn fine float
The other two's a microwave oven in ma boat
(Chorus)
Wha's that sneakin' out an' through the door
It's Hector the whisky maker ... ah took four
Ah run ma barley bree through a tubie tae distil
Ah sell the malt tae ye boys, that's how ye get yer fill
(Chorus)
In nuclear Caithness atoms are good news
They brought the jobs an' money we'd be stupid tae refuse
So now we've nuclear fish, fine atomic coos
Plutonium-coated people an' radioactive booze

Last chorus:
Ah'm the man that muffed it ah'm the chiel that boobed
Ah wonder will they find the radioactive tube
But there's no' goin' tae be a search or any big to-do
For the storeman says he lost all the Geiger-counters too