GUEST: Why were you paying jOhn's backhand a compliment? Tennis anyone? Gawd, tennis is rubbish. So's pingpong.

King Arthur's knights were sent into the kingdom to find pingpong balls. The one who returned with the most would receice the Lady Ezmerelda, a beauty of the kingdom, as his betrothed (pronounce that with thee syllables, SVP, if you want to stay with the program). Eight months later, Sir Rapper returned and dumped the sack onto the floor of the palace. Out poured 2,893 pingpong balls. In the ninth month, Sir Marty returned and from his sack poured 3,421 pingpong balls. As the one-year deadline approached, with but minutes remaining, in crawled Sir jOhn, with his armour torn and blood oozing from cuts and contusions on his face. His ear dangled by a slim string of skin. Out of his sack came two balls. King Arthur yelled, "Sir jOhn, what is this insult? Sir Rapper came back with 2,893 pingpong balls, and sir Marty with 3,421 pingpong balls. Aand you have arrived with but two!" Sir jOhn screamed, "Pingpong balls? Hell, I thought you said King Kong balls!"