When I was in college many years ago, I read the following personal ad in the Boston Phoenix.    Here is as much as I remember.   The best part is the last line.   I am not making this up.

I love midnight rides in police cars.   Sandwiches with real sand in them.   Burnt Flesh offerings.   Screaming at the moon at midnight. (others I can't remember) Looking for someone to share this with.   No weirdos, freaks, or phonies please.