Funny, this almost became my theme song when I started singing it about 6 months ago. Calls of "the martin song!" Here's a few verses I've added

I saw ***** drink a sprite,
He stays sober every night

I saw ***** miss a note
My mistake, of course (s)he won't

I heard ***** sing a song
But the lyrics were so suggestive I couldn't possibly sing them for you here ....
(yes I know it doesn't scan)

What is that goaty smell
With ****'s bodhran around we sure can tell


and as a Brit who's now in Quebec I can vouch for the Qubec Chip (fry). They make a fine quality product here, but then insist on covering it in curd cheese and the most disgusting gravy you've ever seen and calling it Poutine!