A couple had been married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on turning off the lights.   Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of having sex, she turned on the lights.

She looked downand saw her husband was holding a cucumber. She gets completely upset. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly " I am going to be able to explain the cucumber a lot easier than you are going to be able to explain our three kids."