Now here is a song thats directed
At all of you fellows who drink
You may think its alight to get drunk everynight
But this story should make you all think
'Cos I've lifet so many beer glasses
My back is beginning to stoop
But whats ten times worse I've fell foul of the curse
The desease known as dread Brewers Droop

Its the droop the droop the dread brewers droop
The cause of much dissatisfaction
It turns young men old and their sex lives turn cold
'Cos they cant put their thoughts into action

I've drunk beer til its come out my earholes
And my one awful regret is
Once it was hard as a Grenadier Guard
But now its just like a wet lettuce
I've tried many ways to arouse it
To coax it to lift up its head
But it hangs like an old strangled ferret
That some one has nailed to a shed

I've sprayed it with starch and with lacquer
I've screamed and I've raged and blasphemed
And once , in a tantrum , I sang National Anthem
But it wouldnt stand up for the queen
In desperation I tried levitation
To see if the bugger would rise
Though I've set it on fire it wont go no higher
It just brings the tears to my eyes

Last night I took off my trousers
And as I slipped into the bed
I could see the wearing black arm bands
As a sign of respect for the dead
So you've heard my sad tale and its over
How my love life's been blighted by booze
Once it was proud and looked up at my hat
But now it just points at my shoes