Dave the Gnome, you are the kind of gutter trash for whom the most wretched slums and beer halls of Hull came into existence. My advice is, hie yourself down to the communal trough without delay and enjoy the company of your kindred swine. With any luck you may even meet jOhn. Just look for the one who is drooling and staring off vacantly over his pint while trying to think of something else that he can refer to as "rubbish".

* PR