Deer Rustick Rebel,

I guess you din't see th' message I left fer ya on thet "Happy Birfday MOAB" fred. Ennyways, you 'member back 'bout a year ago my so-called brother Sheney Knause an' you seemed t' be wantin' t' git a thang goin'. I thank he even perposed marriage. Well, Sheney done hightailed it t' parts unknowed so thar ain't no chance you an' him's ever gonna hook up. So, bein' as how me an' Sheney is identickle twins, i wuz wunderin' if you mite wanna go out bowlin' er dancin' er sumfin'. Then, mebbe if thangs goes okay we kin go back t' yore place an' play hide th' Kielbasa.

Yores,

Shiney Knause