We got posts on Chongo Chimp, we got posts on Shatner too
We got arguments and theories you can pluck right off the moon
We got banjo tunes and hamsters and a lot o' cyber games
What ain't we got, we ain't got Danes

We get emails from Joe Offer, we get links, we get more
We get speeches from some catters and advice from a few more
We get threads so long they're endless, we get dizzy from the sight
What don't we get, you know darn right

We got nothin' to put on a clean tight - shirt for
What we need is what there ain't no substitute for
There is nothing like a Dane, nothin' in the world
There is nothing you can name that is anything like a Dane

We feel hopeful, we feel sad, we feel lonely and in grief
We feel every kind of feeling but the feeling of relief
We feel horny as the wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood
What don't we feel, we don't feel good

Lots of things in life are beautiful but - sister
There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever
In any way, shape or form like any other - mister
There is nothing like a Dane, nothin' in the world
There is nothing you can name that is anything like a Dane

Nothin' else is built the same, nothin' in the world
As a soft and furry frame, like the silhouette of a Dane

There is absolutely nothin' like the frame - of - a - Dane...

There are no books like a Dane, and nothin' looks like a Dane
There are no drinks like a Dane, nothin' thinks like a Dane
Nothin' acts like a Dane, or attracts like a Dane
There ain't a thing that's cloned with any man here
That can't be good by putting them near
And they want a big, furry and masculine Dane...