Made me laugh, but I don't know whether I'd want to keep explaining them to others if Iwore one!
How about offering them as designs to Rosy Neiper, it's the sort of thing her catalogue of T-shirts specialises in.

RtS
(My everloving bought me "Aged to Perfection", which is meant to be ironic and "Gone to seed" which isn't. She wears "Somedays I wake up miserable , somewdays I let him sleep"!)