Oh, give me some gnomes, front of my Barnsley home
With their true nature all on display.
Some think it's absurd, tip the coppers the word,
They said take those offenders away!

Gnomes, gnomes, ain't it strange?
Like Greek gods, tits and butts on display.
Some silly old fart can't appreciate art,
Made me hide my gnomes' treasures away.

Another arbiter of taste, in D.C. he made haste
To conceal a fair feminine shape;
So the prim TV tube won't be shocked, said this boob,
And he hid Justice's bare breast with a drape.

Gnomes, gnomes, ain't it strange?
Bluestockings o'er you hold sway,
But you're part of the crowd of what's not allowed
By those who'd take all our freedoms away.

In London's Hyde Park, I think for a lark
Queen Boadicea should now wear a brassiere,
Lest in Buckingham Palace, some teen princeling's phallus
Should respond to the sight, they might fear.

Gnomes, gnomes, ain't it strange?
What some folks are afraid may be seen.
They've no problem with war, murder, lying and more,
But a stone gnome's rear end is obscene!