The only help I could be Marion is suggest you read the following and then hum it.....uh,strike hum.....well, let's say just sing Moonlight Sonata for him la,la,la.....

There once was a young man from Sparta
A truly magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God save the Queen"
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."

I've noticed that as we get older, gas becomes somewhat comforting. My wife's grandfather once remarked to a friend of ours, after eating beans, "I dunno',I kinda' like the gas." I'm 50 and this gent of yours is 100.......If his gas is double mine, don't light a match. Our friend Seed back up the thread appears to have destroyed his computer from just such an event, and he's only 67!!!!

Seriously Marion, there are people at the 'Cat who do KNOW JACK SHIT.....unfortunately, it ain't none of us on this thread!!!!

Spaw