Uh, Ms. alison? Catspaw done sed fer me an Paw an the Reg boyz ta bring thizzeer stuff over fer the party. Heez got alotta things ta do taday an seeuns as whut we got the pickup an all, he ast us ta do it. Kin we jez set it over here? Thairz an awful lot a whut he callz Mudcat Bullshit in them boxes so he give usns a paper soaz we cud be shur we brung it all. He sez as how Mario and that Ziff fella ar both right fine at organizin and checkin and calculatin an the like, they wuz to check it in fer us. Paw an me jes got back from the "Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed" whair we saw that Bert guy in the new "James Taylor Chronically Bland Rehab Wing." Paw an me both feel reeeel bad about Mr. Leej servin him up that dew we brewed in the Peterbilt radiator. He wuz tryin ta pass it off like he had the flu, but we saw SusanA-R luggin him down the street las week an found out from Catspaw whut happint. Anywayz, heerz the list...............
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10 Shares of stock in the "Fielding Implosive Pedro Guitar Corp.
1 well worn Tiple from the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed
6 Garden Faeries from Kat & Catspaw's litterbox garden.
1 Banjo with a dead catfish rotting in it.
3 gross of blue clicky things
1 case lime Jell-O
1 License allowing the usage of the word "FOCK" by any member
1 Group Membership in the Christian Deer Hunter's Assoc.
1 thong with small codpiece attached to a 5lb. bag of spuds.
1 Father Joebro approved "Mudcat Confessional Booth"
5 Assorted Roscoes and Heaters once owned by Blake Madison
8 Skids loaded with "Thread Creep Spray"
1 Promotion notice for Banj from Incredible Dumbass to General F****P
2 extra Telecasters for the Waylon Heron
1 5lb. loaf of scrapple
1 2oz. packet of grits
1 Certificate naming bbc Mother of the Year
1 Thank You note from Cleigh O'Possum to bbc for inclusion in "Resources"
6 Dragonflies for Jeri's hooters
1 Embarrassing photo of Jeri with clams
1 Annotated copy of "Cletus,Paw,Buford,and the Reg Boys"
1 Photo Album of Cleigh (motel check-in,hot tub,ass blown,etc.)
1 Tiny roof sculpture with broken dick, labeled "Little Stone Putz"
12 Copies of "Art's Puns that Really Bite"
3 dozen Art Thieme approved condoms
1 Dental Dam...found by Father Joebro
9 warped harps played by Alice in the shower
1 copy of "Memory Loss and YOU"-lost by Bert 531 times
1 lamarca flamingo to replace the one eaten by Mian
6 Photos from Helen's nude wedding
1 copy-"What the Fock?"-plain English translation of Peter T's writings
6 hamsters from Bill D's old computer power pack
9 Bezillion words on the meaning of "Folk Music"
1 Locator Chart for the Paton Collection-compiled by Rick Fielding
9 dozen chat room #'s where alison can supposedly be found
1 Soundhole from a Larrivee sold to Cletus & Paw by Sandy
1 used pair of fishnet tights, with fart igniter, from El Swanno
1 videotape of Seed chomping on bamboo shoots & singing "Small World"
1 videotape of the Mudcat Exotic Dancers
9 million copies of Dick and Susan's "DO IT THIS WAY DAMMIT"
1 pinhead listing all of catspaw's "worthwhile" postings
2 blown 330 Mercruisers from annap's kayaks
1 copy of "Complete Guide to Wacko Meals" by SusanA-R
1 Large pot of WyoWoman's Santa Fe Green Chile Grits
1 Pot of Big RiB's Puddin' and Hominy
1 box of possum clay from Barb Blessings
1 Award Winning Shantey from Margarita
1 blanket apology to all from Spaw
1 Giant "THANX" to Max,attached to a pair of Ohio State underwear
1 - 18 story library containing all the words and feelings I can never get out for the friendship, humor, compassion, caring, and love that this place and its denizens have given me and my family. Better than anyone, I know the power of the 'Cat and the warmth, healing, and love it provides.--Spaw
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So ifn thaz all of it, me an Paw an the boys will be goin now. We're gittin reddy for deer huntin an ice fishin an hope to start our guide service right soon. Weed be tickult ifn any of yall whut got them spensive instermints wud bring em along if you come with us.