Right here we go. Words stolen from a Fred Wedlock album. All mistakes are mine and I claim them.

ROBIN HOOD
(Dave Turner, as recorded by Fred Wedlock)

Robin Hood was a bloke who robbed across the land
Firing arrows here and there.
He fired at the rich and he mowed down the poor
And now and then he'd hit a passing deer.

Maid Marion was his missus and she had two lovely eyes
And feet as big as boats,
But he let her hang around cos she's the only bird he'd found
What would fetch him out his Nottingham Evening Post.

Robin Hood was a bloke and he owned many bows,
Kept 'em all nice and clean.
He died in his prime at the age of 89
With a nasty case of eyeball gangrene.

He was walking through the wood, this randy Robin Hood,
With most of his merry men,
When, to make this song real crude, by them dashed a nude
And he never saw his merry men again.

A man was being hung and Robin said, "That's wrong.
I'll stop your ex-i-cut-i-on," he said.
So he loaded up his bow and he let his arrow go
And shot the poor bugger through the head.

Now the friar's name was Tuck and he didn't give a damn.
No, he didn't ever help them in a fight.
He wouldn't help them hunt, the lazy idle friar.
He just sat around and fed himself all night.

Robin Hood was a bloke and he owned many bows,
Kept 'em all nice and clean.
He died in his prime at the age of 27
With a nasty case of eyeball gangrene.

He had a fight on a log with a man called Little Jog
And he made Robin look a proper twit.
He up with his pole and he scored a perfect goal
And knocked Robin flying in the water.

When it came to singing songs, well, they could not go wrong.
Their minstrel's name was Alan-a-Dale.
He minstrelled through the day and he minstrelled through the night
And they drowned him in a keg of Watney's Pale.

Robin Hood was a bloke and he owned many bows,
Kept 'em all nice and clean.
He died in his prime at the age of 42
With a nasty case of eyeball gangrene.

As long as birds are here, as long as blokes drink beer,
As long as two and two make five,
As long as clipper ships keep on smuggling cannabis pips,
The name of Robin Hood will stay alive.

It will bounce across the land. It will be passed from hand to hand,
His deeds exaggerated by the gross.
They'll glorify his name and cover up with fame
The thieving robbing rat-bag that he was.

Robin Hood was a bloke and he owned many bows,
Kept 'em all nice and clean.
He died in his prime at the age of 89
With a nasty case of eyeball gangrene.

Bit of poetic license I think with Little John. Fred sang it with the age of Robin changing so I have copied that. He invited the audience to pick any number they liked. I learned it some years ago and ain't used it in yonks. Perhaps its time to take it out dust it of and go torture an audience somewhere.

Lots of luck with it

Fantum
A guest because the machine don't love me