You are, unfortunately, AGING. OVER THE HILL. GETTING OLD. LOSING IT, DUDE. ON THE WRONG SIDE OF PRIME. SLIP-SLIDIN' AWAY. Not getting any younger. I mean face it -- you're probably farting more than you'd like to hear about, too.

Amos, did you hear about the guy who went to the doctor, complaining that he was troubled with extremely noxious, but silent, flatulence? Told the doc that he'd already passed such gas four times since they'd been talking. Doctor said, "Well, first thing we're going to do is get your hearing checked."

So if I turn off my hearing aid I'll be okay?

Next thing you know you'll want me to get a rocking chair and sit in the shade all day, sippin' decaf whilst hummin' "Shine on harvest moon" and "Back in the USSR" and other old folk songs.

Ya ever hum while sippin' decaf? It's messy!