The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #69252   Message #1206978
Posted By: M.Ted
14-Jun-04 - 11:49 AM
Thread Name: Origins: Eighteenth of June
Subject: RE: Origins: Eighteen of June
Doesn't scan as well--Fergie--and your choice of words--a bit more precise, but less direct--
"Were Slain and their bodies lay strewn" seems contrived more to rhyme than to convey meaning, and you've completely changed the meaning of the last lines--and what point to meddle with these verses, anyway?