If your little thong doesn't cover your thing and conceal your venus crack
We'll have to rush to cover your bush and bring knicker elastic back
If your arse is bare or your pubic hair should flash in the noonday sun
Then the vice squad cop will cause you to stop with a wave of his naked gun.
You will be strip searched and your name besmirched and your pubes sent to the lab
And a picture of your cheeks will be displayed for weeks on Weightwatchers wall of flab.