Haul 'Em Up, Joe
New lyrics: Genie; Tune: Haul Away, Joe

Never thought me pants were lewd, but now the mayor's told me,
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
That if I did not hoist me drawers, the law would blameful hold me.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus

Once I was like a Sherman tank, wi' tool belt kept all handy,
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
But now the tire's around me waist, they say me tool's a' randy.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus:
Hey! Haul 'em up! Don't wanna shock the grannies!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
"Hey! Haul 'em up!! Can't show yer nooks an' crannies!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

They're saying any gentleman would not flash decent people.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
But when a tradesman's squattin' low, yer starin' down a deep hole.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus

Madonna was a queen a' dancin' like to prostitution.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
But Shepherd says "No drawers chopped off! -- We'll change the constitution!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus

Glenn Green and Larry Caillier say here in Opelousas
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
Plumbers' cleavage makes ya puke, young ladies' stirs yer juices!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus

Once it was in New Orleans we'd dig the thong-clad lasses.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
But no more wearin' skanky slips, revealin' southern assets.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Chorus

The ACLU and Martiny say taste's not legislatable.
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
If guys can't ogle real life chicks, they'll turn to the inflatable!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."

Last chorus:

Hey, haul 'em up, yer rocks and roll now cover!
"Hey Haul 'em up! Well, haul 'em up, Joe."
Hey, haul 'em up -- we're not yer bloody lover!

Original song:
Haul Away, Joe
When I was a little lad and so me mother told me,
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe.
That if I did not kiss the girls me lips would grow all moldy.
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe.

Way haul away, we'll haul for better weather.
Away haul away, we'll haul away Joe.
Way haul away, we'll haul away together.
Away haul away, we'll haul away Joe.

King Louis was the king of France before the revolution.
And then he got his head chopped off it spoiled his constitution

Saint Patrick was a gentleman. He came from decent people.
He built a church in Dublin town and on it put a steeple.

Once I was in Ireland a'digging turf and taties.
But now I'm on a Yankee ship a'hauling on the braces.

Once I had a German girl but she was fat and lazy.
But now I got a Yankee girl, she damn near drives me crazy.

Way haul away, rock and roll me over
Way haul away, well roll me in the clover.