Dere Raypierre,
I wabaz so glade to har thet you will continue the close and afflable frendship wif my own self and the obthers of my ilk. I would like to hope thet you like me better then them others az I am perdy danged personable and need some ob the lotto moneys real quick-like. Whar kin I sign up fore a loan and kin you send me a big check today? Ef you do it wif Fed Ex, just mek it for the next bizness morning and I will cover the postage later on.
I hope yore in good health and be careful about just who you send money to, az thar iz some perdy shady characters what frequents this mother here.

I shouldn't worry much about Khing Khnadu if he hits you up though az he iz beyond needing enny financial assistance and in hiz crazed state, would only light hiz off-brand cigarettes wif the twenties and hunnerts.
CarolC the crapper queen will no doubt squander hers on accordians inlaid with mother ob toilet seat decorations and Amos would moren likely get hold of a Berlitz, "Speak and Write in All the Languages obv the World" course and then we would never get to enjoy hiz company no more az it would keep him perdy busy.

Ennyhow, send me about half or more if you kin spare it and I'll be reel grateful and happy for a long while.

Yerz truly,
Tweed