When I got home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a head upon the bed where my ould head should be.
So I called to my wife an' said to her, "Now, is this fair to me?
Whose is the head upon the bed where my ould head should be?"
"Ah y're drunk, y're drunk, yuh silly old thing. Still y' cannot see.
That's a loverly baby that me mother sent to me."
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more,
But a whiskers on a baby, sure, I've never seen before!

And when I got home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a thing within the thing where my ould thing should be.
So I called to my wife an' said to her, "Now, is this fair to me?
Whose is the thing within the thing where my ould thing should be?"
"Ah y're drunk, y're drunk, yuh silly old thing. Still y' cannot see.
That's a loverly carrot that me mother sent to me."
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more,
But a foreskin on a carrot, sure, I've never seen before!

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 9-Aug-02.