It was beyond the bounds of any diet including the famous see-food diet where you eat any food you see.

Today was supposed to be the day I made my decision on retiring. I haven't seen the calculations for the annuities so I asked for a one day extension. I have a guesstimate made using the on-line calculators but that leaves so many unanswered questions.

Last night I lay in bed thinking about this decision and the associated ramifications. I thought of the bills that would need to be paid and the possibility of not being able to afford to leave the island. I thought of all the things I could do if I kept my job somehow (it is a possibility). Then I thought of how much I hate certain parts of my job, the bureau-babble that comes down from people who have no idea what they are doinng but think they know what's good for me, the early mornings and long work days, the fires we constantly put out and the arguments with contractors and clients.

Then I thought of the two friends who worked as long as they could and then died shortly after retirement. And those who retired as elderly men and spent their retirement getting sicker and sicker. I don't want to follow that road. I want to enjoy the days that follow this one and the next. I want to wake without the alarm clock and go out into the sunshine without a hurrying need to get into an office where I have to sit all day while life goes on outside.

I am tired. I feel bone weary. It is time to make a change in my life and try new things. It's time to sit in the sun and enjoy the smell of the flowers. I want to swim in the warm ocean and revel in the sighing of the breeze in the saw grass.

Life is waiting for me...