I am the best song writer.

I have never released an official recording, and almost no one has ever heard of me, but I am the best. I do not plan to ever release a commercial recording, because I detest commerciality. Still, I am the best.

Now this should be very pleasing to those among you who have posted in OUTRAGE over various famous people, like Bob Dylan or Hank Williams whom others have dared to praise as great songwriters.

Yes, you can rest assured that the well known singers in the music business do not in any way approach the abilities of someone like myself, someone the music industry has never seen fit to promote in any way whatsoever.

In fact, if you got to know my unrecorded and unreleased music you would soon glow with the inner awareness that only YOU and a CHOSEN FEW in the great, stupid crush of humanity could possibly be cool enough to even know about, let alone appreciate, my greatness. You would feel very special...like you do now...but even more so.

But it would get out of hand if too many people got to know about me. Then I'd become "popular" (shudder!). I would be seen as a "sellout" or a "phony" or a "hack", like Hank Williams, Bob Dylan, Gordon Lightfoot, and all those other sellouts.

So be glad that I have remained obscure and given the world almost nothing, despite my great potential. I'm a lot like you. Love me.

- Wilbur Forthright, the world's greatest songwriter