Proud to be American

I have been on lists starting with the cub scouts until the present day.
If you live in America you get a front row seat at the freak show.
For those of us who peek behind the curtain and tell the crowd what we saw there will be sanctions and penalties but seldom are they dire.

However, if you join the freak show the sanctions can be very hazardous. After an interview I did for the Democrat and Chronicle regarding clinical hypnosis and its political ramifications I was visited by recruiters for the CIA, Naval Intel and local law enforcement. They had different agendas but I stayed clear of involvement the best I could. The most tenacious of these agencies was the CIA. Believe it or not even the Jesuits wanted to find out what I was teaching and set up a mirror clinic similar to mine.

I had learned in the cub scouts that even if you are paid to break even a symbolic rule, kids will betray you in a heart beat. In a game of dare I was dared to spit on the flag. I said for a dollar I would. Roger said OK here is a dollar; I said "a dollar each". After Gary anteed up for Howard I had $10. At the moment of expectoration the Den mother opened the door to the basement and I was caught in the act. She shrieked as if the basement was full of blood. "You are banned from the Cub Scouts for life" but that only amounted to 2 years of eligibility. I looked back at the kids who were all sheepishly silent but Gary who looked as if he got his moneys worth.

So if you ever join a CIA like organization you should always remember that once you break the law, even if it is for a lawless organization, it will be held over you if not against you. The 3 exits for certain agents are being exposed/prosecuted, left out in the cold or termination. Success is usually measured by being a yes man in the face of absurd proposals by a boss. So it is not much different than the Dilbert world of business.

The interviews and tests were funny. The intelligence tests were not much different the the Stanford Binet tests except the cover said it belonged to the Department of the Treasury. The oral exams were mostly scenarios. I realized I could not string them along without "getting hired" so when I was asked what I would do if I had a secret briefcase and a man at the bottom of the stairs wanted to take it away, I thought of the Bill Cosby story of when he played high school football. The story went "I was only 120lbs and when the 250 lb. guard was pulling and about to crush me, I gave him the ball".
So that's what I said, "I would give him the briefcase". The interviewer was so pissed she just packed up and left without saying a word.

They commited some retribution including burglary, assault with an exotic weapon and notifying the IRS to monitor everything for the next 3 years and getting my office landlord to break my lease but I figured it was better than enter a building with no "fired" escapes for the rest of my life.

Being on the list probably encouraged the FBI to investigate to determine if I was the famed unibomber. Three guys came to the office and congenially wanted to talk about making explosives and what I knew about them. I told them the only one I ever made was with idodine and ammonia and how much fun it was to put it on carpets to dry or in key holes of returning drunk dorm buddies in college. They asked me about my love of wood since they say the office had wood sculptures, pillars and my cello. After 14 years they finally got their man when Kazinski's brother turned him in.

A year or two later I had some clients that were referring office co workers for clinical hypnosis and deep relaxation therapy. It so happened they were all weapon research scientists building X ray lasers and such things. Again there were agents and questions and property seizures of things like cassette tapes. Again the landlord suddenly wanted me out. This time I held out. On eviction day when the trucks came, it was discovered there was no legal paper work to carry out the eviction. So at my own descretion I moved months later.

With no urge of retribution I still did my patriotic duty and submitted my paper to the FBI on counter terrorism techniques to prevent airline hijackings. They sent out their 20 year old agent reserved for lunatics and probably threw my proposal away. If it had ever been implemented it would have rendered 9-11 impossible as long as the pilot had 5 seconds of warning.

I continue to watch the freak show of life and illustrate it from time to time. Most of you have learned that whatever we were taught about: democracy, freedom, elections, justice for all, equal rights, pursuit of happiness and other American children tales are not the way it turns out to be in the real world. The rich people have control of the best weapons, the agencies of war and peace, the courts, diseases, and your survival.

Pride in America is hard for me to come by lately. I've known people who were proud to be a Marine, proud to be CIA, proud to be Mafia and I've met people just proud to just be American. I am proud to have a front row seat to the freak show of life.

So any painting or graphic I do is just a variation on those schemes.
I may not have a typical life but I picture the typical things that reach us all.